Welcome to the 23rd day of the journey. We continue with this week’s kavannah (intention), which is Being in the Unknown.
Here we are in the wilderness. Uncharted territory. We have left the familiar behind. Whether we have left a physical place, unhealthy relationship, or an emotional state that no longer serves us,
we are struck by how unprepared we are to “hang out” in the unknown.
For so many of us, much of our identity has become tied up with what we know. We’ve gotten this far with our opinions about what is right, beliefs about who we are, the logic that has taken us from point A to point B, and our notions about the way things are supposed to be. With our advanced educations and various certificates and degrees, we collect files and books and awards that serve as reminders of all that we know. What we know gets intermingled with who we are.
But the deep truth is that who we are is so much more than what we know.
The commitment we have undertaken to journey towards our Promised Land and most authentic self requires that we spend some time in the place of “not knowing.”
It is uncomfortable and challenging. We try to bargain: “If I can just figure this out….” What is called for in this moment is the surrender of the mind to the unknown. Let go. This is a journey of the soul.
There is tremendous power in simply acknowledging:
I don’t know. I don’t have the answers. I don’t know what to do now.
I don’t know how to figure it out. I do not know.
When we can deeply accept that we don’t know, we are offered the opportunity to see everything as fresh and new. We consciously cast off our knee-jerk reactions to look smart and lead the way. With humility and courage, we enter the space of not-knowing.
And if we can do that, we may find that there is some freedom here. When we say, I don’t know, something opens up in our soul-space to allow in what is possible in a way that we may never have discovered had we insisted on knowing.
The question to each one of us on this twenty-third day of the Omer is:
At this very moment, what do you not know?
Mindfulness Practice: Call to mind something that you have been really working (over and over in your mind) to figure out and know. Sit for five minutes with the kavannah (intention) of not knowing the next step. Sink into “I don’t know” with regard to this particular situation. Notice your feelings: resistance? openness? anger? fear? joy? Notice what thoughts make their way into the “I don’t know” space.
Blessing for Counting the Omer:
Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu Melekh ha’Olam asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al sefirat ha’omer.
Blessed are you, Adonai our God, Holy One of Blessing, who makes us holy with sacred obligations and commands us to count the Omer.
Counting: Today is the twenty-third day, totaling three weeks and two days of the Omer: Hayom shloshah v’esrim yom, she-haim sh’losha shavuot u’sh’nai yamim la-omer.
Blessings to you on this new day. We are delighted to journey together.
Rabbi Cindy Enger and Rabbi Jill Zimmerman
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