Before We Move On: Thoughts About Endings

Usually when we think of the end of the year, we are either talking about December (in the secular year) or in Jewish time, right before the High Holidays in early Fall.

Yet, there’s another time of year that is all about endings: the school or class year.

As human beings, we have many different ways of dealing with endings. Some of us like to slink out the door, hoping nobody will notice, so that we don’t have to feel the feelings of “goodbye” or “I am so happy THIS is over…”  And some of us get super busy with what’s “next” and immerse ourselves in filling the empty time with new activities.IMG_4800sunflower

A mindful way of experiencing endings is to stop, pay attention, notice our feelings (depressed? excited relief?) and register our habitual tendencies when something is over.

Whether we breathe a sigh of relief that the year has come to an end, or feel sad that this year’s learning has come to a close, it’s important to take the time to reflect on the experience of what we have learned and to integrate we’ve learned into our new selves.

Endings give us the opportunity to think about who we are NOW:

  • What difference has this year/class/course made in my life?
  • How am I a better person because of this experience?
  • What did I learn that I most want to remember? 
  • In what ways was the “veil lifted and my soul felt delight?”

One of my favorite poets, John O’Donohue, has a beautiful blessing that I turn to at ending times:

The particular mind of the ocean
Filling the coastline’s longing
With such brief harvest
Of elegant, vanishing waves
Is like the mind of time
Opening us shapes of days.

As this year draws to its end,
We give thanks for the gifts it brought
And how they became inlaid within
Where neither time nor tide can touch them.

The days when the veil lifted
And the soul could see delight;
When a quiver caressed the heart
In the sheer exuberance of being here.

Surprises that came awake
In forgotten corners of old fields
Where expectation seemed to have quenched.
The slow, brooding times
When all was awkward
And the wave in the mind
Pierced every sore with salt.

The darkened days that stopped
The confidence of the dawn.
Days when beloved faces shone brighter
With light from beyond themselves;
And from the granite of some secret sorrow
A stream of buried tears loosened.

We bless this year for all we learned,
For all we loved and lost
And for the quiet way it brought us
Nearer to our invisible destination.

— John O’Donohue (To Bless The Space Between Us/Benedictus)

Rabbi Jill’s Meditation & Mindfulness Booklist

Jewish Meditation & Mindfulness Books (* most highly recommended)

*Meditation App: I use Insight Timer (available on the Itunes & Android app store.)  Come join The Jewish Mindfulness Network group on the app. See you there!

11412229_10153322913526280_3794959904419558428_oBloomfield, Diane. Torah Yoga: Experiencing Jewish Wisdom Through Classic Postures. Jossey-Bass, 2004.

*Boorstein, Sylvia. That’s Funny, You Don’t Look Buddhist: On Being a Faithful Jew and a Passionate Buddhist. HarperOne, 1998.

Boorstein, Sylvia. Happiness Is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life. Ballantine Books, 2008.

Comins, Rabbi Mike. A Wild Faith: Jewish Ways Into Wilderness, Wilderness Ways Into Judaism. Jewish Lights Publishing, 2007.

Cooper, David A. The Heart of Stillness: The Elements of Spiritual Practice. Harmony, 1994.

Cooper, David A. God Is a Verb: Kabbalah and the Practice of Mystical Judaism. Riverhead Books, 1998.

Cooper, David A. Silence, Simplicity & Solitude: A Complete Guide to Spiritual Retreat. Skylight Paths Publishing, 1999.

Cooper, David A. The Handbook of Jewish Meditation Practices. Jewish Lights Publishing, 2000.

Davis, Avram. Meditation from the Heart of Judaism: Today’s Teachers Share Their Practices, Techniques, and Faith. Jewish Lights Publishing, 1999.

Davis, Avram. The Way of Flame: A Guide to the Forgotten Mystical Tradition of Jewish Meditation. Jewish Lights Publishing, 1999.

Falcon, Ted. A Journey of Awakening: 49 Steps from Enslavement to Freedom: A Guide for Using the Kabbalistic Tree of Life in Jewish Meditation. Skynear Press, 2003.

*Fine, Lawrence, Eitan Fishbane, and Or N. Rose. Jewish Mysticism and the Spiritual Life: Classical Texts, Contemporary Reflections. Jewish Lights Pub, 2010.  IMG_2441

*Frankiel, Tamar, and Judy Greenfeld. Minding the Temple of the Soul: Balancing Body, Mind, and Spirit Through Traditional Jewish Prayer, Movement, and Meditation. Jewish Lights Publishing, 1997.

*Frankiel, Tamar, and Judy Greenfield. Entering the Temple of Dreams: Jewish Prayers, Movements, and Meditations for Embracing the End of the Day. Jewish Lights Publishing, 2000.

Freed, Marcus J. The Kosher Sutras: The Jewish Way in Yoga and Meditation. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2013.

*Gefen, Nan Fink. Discovering Jewish Meditation: Instruction & Guidance for Learning an Ancient Spiritual Practice. Jewish Lights Publishing, 2011.

Kaplan, Aryeh. Jewish Meditation & the Bible. Schocken, 1985.

Kaplan, Aryeh. Jewish Meditation: A Practical Guide. Schocken, 1995.

Levy, Rabbi Yael. Journey Through the Wilderness: A Mindfulness Approach to the Ancient Jewish Practice of Counting the Omer. CreateSpace, 2012.

*Lew, Alan. This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation. Little, Brown and Company, 2003.

*Lew, Alan. Be Still and Get Going: A Jewish Meditation Practice for Real Life. Little, Brown and Company, 2005.

*Lew, Alan. One God Clapping. LongHill Partners, Inc., 2009.

Roth, Jeff. Jewish Meditation Practices for Everyday Life: Awakening Your Heart, Connecting with God. Jewish Lights Publishing, 2009.

Shapiro, Rami M. The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness: Preparing to Practice. Skylight Paths Publishing, 2006. pathway2

Slater, Jonathan. Mindful Jewish Living: Compassionate Practice. Aviv Press, 2007.

*Timoner, Rachel. Breath of Life: God as Spirit in Judaism. Paraclete Press, 2011.

*Weinberg, Sheila Peltz. Surprisingly Happy: An Atypical Religious Memoir. White River Press, 2010.

Mindfulness (Buddhist-based, Sufi, secular)

Bays, Jan Chozen. How to Train a Wild Elephant: And Other Adventures in Mindfulness. Shambhala, 2011.

Brach, Tara. Meditations for Emotional Healing: Finding Freedom in the Face of Difficulty. Sounds True, Incorporated, 2009.

Brach, Tara. Mindfulness Meditation: Nine Guided Practices to Awaken Presence and Open Your Heart. Sounds True, Incorporated, 2012.

*Chodron, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Shambhala, 2002. Lets Get Started

Chodron, Pema. The Pema Chodron Audio Collection: Pure Meditation:Good Medicine:From Fear to Fearlessness. Sounds True, Incorporated, 2004.

*Chodron, Pema. Unconditional Confidence: Instructions for Meeting Any Experience with Trust and Courage. Sounds True, Incorporated, 2009.

Emerick, Yahiya. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Rumi Meditations. Alpha, 2008.

Kornfield, Jack. Living Dharma: Teachings and Meditation Instructions from Twelve Theravada Masters. Shambhala, 2010.

Kornfield, Jack. A Lamp in the Darkness: Illuminating the Path Through Difficult Times. Sounds True, Incorporated, 2011.

Kozak, Arnold. Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness. Wisdom Publications, 2009.

Gunaratana, Bhante. Mindfulness in Plain English: 20th Anniversary Edition. Wisdom Publications, 2011.

Gunaratana, Bhante Henepola. Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness: Walking the Buddha’s Path. Wisdom Publications, 2001. Jeff M taking a moment

*Salzberg, Sharon. Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation: A 28-Day Program. Workman Publishing Company, 2010.

*Siegel, Daniel J. Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation. Bantam, 2010.

*Williams, Mark, and Danny Penman. Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World. Rodale Books, 2012.


Self-Compassion, Listening

*Brown, Brene. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden, 2010.

Guenther, Margaret. Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction. Cowley Publications, 1992.

*Lamott, Anne. Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers. Riverhead Hardcover, 2012.

* Neff, Kristen. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.

*Nepo, Mark. The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have. Conari Press, 2000. standing on holy ground

*Germer, Christopher K. The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions. The Guilford Press, 2009.

Singer, Michael A. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself. New Harbinger Publications/ Noetic Books, 2007.



Meaningful Quotes on the Sabbath on Pinterest!

Check out the timeless, poetic wisdom of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel in bite-size pieces on my Pinterest board. I’ve taken Heschel’s “greatest hits” from his classic book, The Sabbath in the hope of inspiring us all to take time to unplug, be present, and appreciate what is.

Rabbi Heschel’s wisdom is timeless and poetic. He teaches that as human “be-ings”, it is essential to intentionally carve out time where we can appreciate the world that is right in front of us, that exists without our having to do a thing, except to “be.”

We are focusing this entire month in Hineni: The Mindful Heart Community on creating a meaningful Shabbat practice each week AND using the principles of pausing/resting/stopping each DAY.

Creating a Shabbat practice is WAY more than restrictions and “do not’s” (although these are often vehicles for clearing enough of the clutter out of our lives so we can be present in the now) – it’s about the holy space we can open up by being purposeful about how we spend our time.

Israel’s “Secular High Holy Days”

Tonight, May 9, 2016 is Yom HaZikaron, Israel’s memorial day. It is a national holiday that commemorates “fallen soldiers” – those that have given their lives for the county. And then within 48 hours, we will celebrate Yom Ha’Atzma’ut, Israel Independence Day.candles

During my year living in Israel for the first year of rabbinic school, we experienced what has come to be known as the “secular High Holy Days”: a series of three holidays/commemorations that follow Passover: Holocaust Remembrance Day (Yom Hashoah), The Day of Fallen Soldiers/Memorial Day (Yom HaZikaron) and Israel Independence Day (Yom Ha’Atzmaut.)

The lived experience of these holidays had a profound impact on me – something that could only be felt, not just read about. The entire country expresses the personal and national grief of the Holocaust, the sacrifice of soldiers, and then erupts into wild celebration of the miracle to be in our land.

Here are my thoughts from my 2005 Israel blog:

There are 4 holidays right in a row at this time of year: Passover, followed 7 days later by Yom Hashoah, followed 7 days later by Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day) and the very next day: Yom Ha’Atzmaut (Israel Independence Day).

In the early days of the founding of Israel, it was decided to use the calendar as a way to establish meaning for the new country.  Of course, there was much precedent for this. For example, in the Jewish calendar developed long ago, we mark the time from Pesach, when we left Egypt from slavery to freedom, to Shavuot where we received the Torah on Mt. Sinai. We count the 49 days in-between these two dates – called Counting the Omer.

Likewise, the founders of the State of Israel wanted to make a connection from Pesach to Independence Day with a series of holidays that would be forever commemorated. Knesset members in the 1950’s wanted to link Pesach, with the remembrance of the Holocaust, and then, a day that remembers all those who have died in Israel’s wars (called Yom HaZikaron (Day of Fallen Soldiers), and concluding with the day of Independence, Yom HaAtzmaut.yomhaatzmaut

David Ben Gurion and the other founders of the state of Israel had an additional intention in the creation of these days.

They were trying to unite a very diverse society whose members came from all over the world, spoke different languages, and often had different customs.

The founders knew that the people needed a single focus and it was of the utmost importance to form a unified identity. One of the ways they accomplished this was through the creation of special holidays.

David Ben-Gurion was deeply concerned that the new society could splinter, because of the people’s many differences, but he also did not want these holidays to be linked with religion.

Most of the early Zionists were nationalistic, not religious.

It’s the rhythm of this period of time, as well as the content, which I found so fascinating.

First, there is Passover. Seven days later, comes Yom HaShoah – and THEN, exactly 7 days later, we celebrate Israel’s Memorial Day (Yom HaZikaron.)

It was determined that the 7 days between Yom HaShoah and Yom HaZikaron was a collective “sitting shiva” for all those who died.

And in fact, that is exactly what it felt like.

For these 7 days of mourning, the newspapers, television, and magazines are filled with stories of the Holocaust, survivors’ stories, research being done, etc.

The atmosphere is thick with memory, and a silence that falls over everyone’s everyday activities.

The official name for Holocaust Remembrance Day is “Yom Hashoah Ve-Hagevurah“–literally the “Day of (Remembrance of) the Holocaust and the Heroism.”

My professors explained that in 1951, when this holiday was first initiated, the focus was on the people who were “Resisters.”

This is fascinating, for several reasons.

First, the early Zionists, who were working for an independent Jewish state, even before Nazi Germany, had been telling the Jewish people, loud and clear, that they would never be “safe” unless they were in their own country.  They saw the creation of the state of Israel as the only sure-fire way to protect against pogroms and anti-Semitism.

The early Zionists saw themselves as “pioneers” – you may have seen the posters of them depicted as young, strong, working the fields, transforming the desert into a garden.

The contrasting image of Jews in Eastern Europe going like “sheep to the slaughter” was anathema to the vision of the “New Jew”.  The “New Jew” would fight back, stand up, and resist.

Consciously and probably unconsciously, the Zionists did not want to identify with the survivors, the victims.

They “raised up” the Jews who led the resistance movements, the Jews who fought in the Warsaw ghetto uprising, and the Jews who fought the Germans from the Allied countries.  These people were the “heroes and heroines.”

It was only later that Israeli society began to feel a greater collective compassion for the victims and survivors of the Holocaust.

In fact, the turning point was the 6-day war of 1967.  In the days leading up to that war, people were already digging graves for the slaughter they were sure would happen.

It was after the victory of that war that the Israeli psyche was able to let in the suffering of the survivors, and the victims of the Nazi death camps.

It was probably the fact that Israel, this tiny nation the size of New Jersey, had all the huge Arab nations surrounding it, assured of its destruction, that allowed in the thought that perhaps simple determination to win against adversaries might not be enough.

It was at this point, our professors told us, that Israeli society turned a corner, and began to listen to the stories of survivors.

There are many survivors, just like in Skokie, where I grew up, who did not tell their children about the horrors they endured.

The survivors who arrived in Israel set themselves about the task of putting their painful past behind them, learning Hebrew, and building a new life. Nobody wanted to talk, and actually, not many people wanted to listen.

In Israel now, there are ceremonies, beginning in the evening, all over for Yom Hashoah. The ceremonies in Tel Aviv and at Yad Vashem are nationally broadcast on television on all the channels.

In the ceremonies, survivors, often accompanied by their grandchildren, and some in uniform, as the grandchildren are now the age of serving in the Israeli army, light candles. There is music, a few speeches, and the reciting of the Kaddish, and Al Male Rachamim, a prayer for the dead.

The next day, is a regular work and school day.  At my seminary, Hebrew Union College, we had a ceremony that the American students conducted with the Israeli rabbinic students.

At the end of the ceremony, people in our own HUC community were invited up to recite the names of people in their family who perished in the Holocaust.

One Israeli student read a list that seemed to go on forever.

Our dean, Rabbi Michael Marmur, told the story of 2 little girls who hid in a cemetery, which was thought to be “safe” place.  A 7-year-old girl took care of the 4 year old.  They had only a bit of food.  In a few days, when it was deemed safe, the families came to get the girls.  The 7 year old was Rabbi Marmur’s mother.  She immigrated to Britain.  The 4 year old is now a dentist in Tel Aviv.

What really affected me was the awareness of how much was lost – whole worlds.  Michael Marmur is one of the most brilliant people I have ever met, and a true gift to the Jewish people.  He has never failed to move me whenever he speaks.  If his mother had not survived, the world would have never had a Michael Marmur.

What about all the brilliance, intellectual and compassionate, that was never to be because of the Shoah?  It boggles my mind.

Seven days after Yom HaShoah, Israel commemorates all those who have died in wars protecting the country. The very next day, the country erupts in celebration of the founding of the state of Israel.

I grew up in Skokie, Illinois, with a large concentration of Holocaust survivors. Our public schools were closed for the major Jewish holidays. Yet, I never in my life experienced what I did in Israel. The entire country mourns and then celebrates together.

What had the greatest impact on my consciousness was the sirens that go off, halting the whole country on both Yom HaShoah and Yom HaZikaron.

At 11 am on Yom HaShoah, a siren goes off that is heard all over the entire country for 2 minutes. Everything stops. Cabs and buses pull off the side of the road and drivers get out of their cars and stand at attention in silence. Everything and everyone stops. And remembers.

Jill Zimmerman 2005 Jerusalem Israel


In Memory of Those Who Dreamed of Kugel: Yom HaShoah

In 2005, as a first year rabbinic student in Jerusalem, I was given the honor of lighting one of the six candles for the Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day) commemoration at Hebrew Union College. Each candle represents 1 million lives cut down by evil hatred. 

yomhashoahI decided to dedicate my candle to the women of Terezin:

Kugel, plum strudel, chocolate torte…Recipes from memory, scribbled with broken pencils on tiny scraps of paper survived Terezin concentration camp, even though the starving women who wrote them did not.

This candle is dedicated to those Jewish mothers, who perished in the Holocaust, who fed their souls by sharing recipes of the meals they cooked that nourished their families in better times.

Their food was their Torah – the way they showed their love, passed on family traditions, and sustained Jewish life.

Perhaps their husbands and children smelled their pot roast as they were coming up the stairs to the apartment and knew that their mother or grandmother had been preparing for them all day, with love and attention.

Terezin was a way station on the way to Auschwitz. As the women starved, they talked incessantly about food, and kept their hope for the future alive by sharing recipes from their past.

The snippets of paper were collected by Mina Pachter, a 70-year-old inmate at the death camp. Before she herself starved to death, she was able to smuggle the hand-sewn manuscript out of Terezin in hopes that it would reach her daughter in Palestine.

The scraps of paper eventually made it into the hands of Carla de Silva, who published them in a book called In Memory’s Kitchen by Michael Berenbaum.

As we prepare meals for our families and friends, let us never forget those women. May we always recall their will to survive through their memories of nourishing others.

Jill Zimmerman

May 2005

Jerusalem Israel

Practicing Self-Compassion Daily

We live in a world that can batter our fragile souls. Harsh words, outright violence, destruction, suffering…

We all need a safe place to return, to receive kindness, hugs, and comfort. We seek out people who see the best in us, bring compassion to us when we are hurting or ill.  For some of us, it’s easy to give love to others.

What’s the climate like in our internal world?

Are we as kind to our own selves as we are to others? What’s our self-talk like? Do we hold ourselves to standards of perfection that we’d not even hoist on our own children and friends? Do we ever get to feel like we do or are “enough?”

Practicing bringing love and blessing and compassion to our own selves is a daily inside workout.  These four phrases help remind us what’s involved:

Self Compassion

In our Hineni Mindful Heart Community, we are sharing poetry, music, and stories about the challenge of being compassionate to our selves.

To find out more about how to join the conversation, click here:  Hineni: The Mindful Heart Community

Rabbi Jill


4 Ways to Enter Your Day

One of the most joyful times of my life was the year I spent becoming certified as a Master Gardener. As part of my training, I attended a lecture by a talented landscape gardener whose speciality was “Entrances.”

He taught that the garden plantings leading up to your doorway set the tone for your guest’s experience of their visit. He suggested fragrant plants, soft leaves, and soothing colors. Even before ringing your doorbell, the visitorentrances for newsletter feels welcome and embraced.*

This is a teaching that has stayed with me, as it matches my life experience in many other areas.

Beginnings are important – in relationships, groups and each and every one of our days.

Mornings are the “entrances” to our days.

What are we planting as we awaken to the day ahead?

Where’s our attention and what is our intention for the day?

Are we already making our to-do lists before our feet even touch the floor?

Do we check our email, allowing other people’s agenda to set the tone of our day?

OR are we taking a few moments to intentionally welcome our heart, soul, body and mind to this one precious day.

It makes a difference.

It’s the reason Judaism has rituals that begin the moment we open our eyes, and many of us were never taught the richness of these practices.

entrances for newsletter-4In a blend of tradition and modern wisdom, I’d like to offer 4 elements that are powerful components of a meaningful morning ritual:

1. Awareness

2. Gratitude

3. Silence

4. Intention

This month, our virtual Jewish Mindfulness community (Hineni, Mindful Heart Community) is focusing entirely on these four ways of Waking Up, through poetry and song, spiritual practice and texts.

New habits are difficult to form, we are supporting each other (in our online facebook group) to find what parts of these rituals will work best in our individual lives. (To find out how to join us, click here: entrances for newsletter-5

A few words about each component. You do not have to do all of these:

Awareness: Notice the light in the room, tune in to the sounds around you. Take a few deep breaths, and take in that you have been given another day on this planet.

Gratitude: To whom and what are you grateful for? Your warm bed? The pet that licks you awake? The fact that even though your body creaks, most of it is working?

Silence: 5, 10 or even 20 minutes of silence to sink in, focus on your breath or body sensations. For many people, if you want to begin a meditation practice, morning is the best time. (Join our group on Insight Timer: The Jewish Mindfulness Network)

Intention: What is the way you want to go about your day? For example, “I want to greet each moment with curiosity” or a favorite of mine from author Brene Brown: “No matter what gets done and how much is left, I am enough.”

entrances for newsletter-3If you’d like to delve more deeply into this, and to receive support in bringing Jewish mindfulness into your entire day, I encourage you to check out Hineni here: 
Rabbi Jill

  • For my birthday this week, my husband Ely bought new pansies to plant by our front door, and lettuce starts for our backyard garden. He even prepared the soil so all I had to do was go out and plant. In this newsletter I’ve posted a few photos of our ENTRANCE and our baby lettuces. Sometimes he knows me better than I know myself 🙂 I SO needed my hands in the soil. I hope you enjoy the message this month about Waking Up, Entrances and Beginnings.

In Light of the Darkness

It takes a concerted effort to find a resting place when we are surrounded by heart-breaking news both in the world and for many, in our own lives.

And yet, our tradition teaches the deep lesson of Shabbat: pausing and resting and taking a breath is essential to building our universe. 

In this spirit, I’m sending you something I wrote last week about noticing beauty, even during dark times.

I’m personally committed to shedding light in the darkness, each day, and this email is part of that intention.  When I wrote this, it was on “CyberMonday” right after “Black Friday” and I felt barraged.CROWS sunset

This was before San Bernadino, just 90 miles east of where we live. 

I hope you will take time this weekend to breathe, pause, and say thank you for unexpected gifts – like the sky.  And now, the sky.

I am fascinated by the sky.  If you’ve seen my facebook page, it is filled with photos of sunsets and clouds.  This past summer when we drove from California to visit our son in Colorado, I took hundreds of pictures out the (passenger) car window of the colorful sky, billowing clouds, and the way the light changed as we moved east.

I am blessed to work from my home office with a constant view of the sky. Early this week, as I noticed the sun going down and the magnificent colors appearing, I ran outside with my camera to capture the sky (as if I could…)

And this got me to wondering  – what is so compelling to me about this? 

First — The light is the surest indicator of the spiritual principle that “everything changes.”  When I feel stuck in the place of either wanting things to be different than they are or desiring the joy to last longer – I only need to look outside to remember: everything changes.

Second — Each sunset is as unique as a snowflake and as an individual soul. One night has more orange and blue and the next sunset, what I notice most is the black crows on the wire against the backdrop of the fiery sky. (And somehow they quiet down their loud cries as the sun sets – perhaps they, too, are watching?)

And third— I can’t tell the sunset to hang on a minute while I finish this lesson plan or article.  In order to take in the beauty being splayed across the heavens this moment, I must put my computer down and get outside. Doing so often reminds me of the title of one of Rabbi Larry Kushner’s books:  “I’m God, You’re Not.”

After a day of pursuing and accomplishing (or procrastinating) I receive what is given to me. It’s s gift I can’t create on my own, one that I didn’t ask for and certainly can’t count on every night. In the words of Meister Eckhart,  “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

What a welcome break from the world of my screens either showcasing horrific scenes or the drumbeat of all the ways I can buy buy buy –  promising happiness with the next new thing.

Happiness is right in front of me.

I Fell

I fell.  Really hard. Picture one of those slow motion falls. Yesterday, I was at the synagogue doing a rehearsal with a bat mitzvah student and I tumbled off the bima (platform) down a whole bunch of steps, hitting my chin on the piano pedals (I’m sure it was a completely graceful fall, aren’t you?) My shoe caught on the carpet and I tripped.   

These are the boots :)

These are the boots :)

Luckily, the student’s mom was an MD and saw the whole thing.  I’m ok – no broken bones.  No concussion.  Just banged and shaken up. (PS I was NOT holding a torah.  That would be a whole other story.)

SO – it turns out that the meditation teacher gets another BIG chance to practice being present, keeping it real, reaching out and reaching in.

First – it’s incredible how quickly my (fear-based) self-talk kicked in.  As soon as I got over the initial shock, I found myself thinking, “OH NO – what if I have to cancel the havdalah I’m leading this Saturday?”  “What if I have broken bones and I find out I have osteoporosis?” “I KNEW I should have been doing more weight-baring exercises all these years…”  “What if I have a neurological disorder that caused me to lose my balance?”  ETC.  ETC.  As we used to say in the Seinfeld era:  yada yada yada.

At some point last night, I remembered what one of my teachers taught:  “Panic is a choice.”  And then, just the night before I fell, I heard Jon Kabat-Zinn (the founder of the Mindfulness-Based-Stress-Reduction technique) on a video I was watching that “Pain is a given; suffering is optional.”

 It’s not what happens to us, it’s how we respond.*

In that moment of remembering, I realized that I did NOT have to go to a dark place of fear and worry.  I was so grateful for the information and teachers that have helped me to reframe my thinking.  And it’s not just one-time learning.  It’s constant re-learning and practice.

The next thing I did was call on my community: first –  my creative wonderful husband, who not only created three ice-packs with rubber bands for every place I needed it — but also helped me to remember: yes, you’re going to hurt, and no, this is not forever. (And he also made dinner.)

I called a few of my wonderful friends who: made me laugh, told me their stories of falling, and from whom I felt deep love and concern. So while my body ached, my heart swelled.

I’m grateful for each person who stopped what they were doing to listen, and to give wisdom.  (Yes, ok, back to the weight-bearing workouts….)

Why am I telling you all this?  Because it was also a message to me to SLOW DOWN.  Yes, I know I tripped because one of my boots got caught on the carpe (see photo below.) There IS a chance that I was moving too fast, as I am known to do.  

In this world of too-much-too-fast — “stuff” happens on a daily basis. This “stuff” challenges us to examine (and practice) how we think and react and respond.  And it is essential to have people in our lives that lift us up, help us learn, and are there when we fall.

It is my deepest hope that Hineni: The Mindful Heart Project, the new virtual community I’m creating starting next Tuesday evening (will be recorded) will be a gathering place for exactly this kind of learning and community

I would SO love for you to join us!  An AMAZING beautiful group of souls have already signed on.  Please register asap so we can get you all the info to begin.

We can learn and fall together. 
And  — rise. 

Many blessings

Rabbi Jill

To learn how cool this community is going to be and all the details:  click here:  Click Here:

Rabbi Jill Berkson Zimmerman

*By the way, this is the profound lesson from the “who shall live and who shall die” prayer at High Holy Days Unetenah Tokef.